Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Gang-bang etiquette 101
One participant (male) in a 2002 group sexual encounter gone wrong apologises to the victim (female) at the earliest opportunity* – pointedly, this apology is not for his own conduct, nor even for anything he witnessed personally. In 2009, he makes another apology on national TV. Nonetheless, this man is widely portrayed in the media as the chief villain, and his apologies, particularly the first, receive scant media attention. Somehow, the man has come to stand for the group, despite obvious (to me) differences in involvement, and so perhaps culpability, between the man and the bulk of the group. So to the facts.
There seem to have been two triggers for then-professional rugby player Matthew Johns leaving the hotel room at a certain point – that 8 to 10 of his teammates and other club employees gatecrashed (some or all through a bathroom window) the threesome (2M, 1F) Johns was having, and this exchange between the victim and one of the gatecrashers:
"[Luke Branighan] said he would [like to have sex with the victim, “Clare”] and she said “no, no, anyone but you” . . . She then pointed at [Matthew Johns, indicating that she wanted to have sex with him instead]".
Whether Johns left the room at least partially out of consideration for the feelings of Branighan is unknown. What Branighan did after this is also unknown, but “Clare” has not indicated that he then had sex with her, contrary to her express wishes. What can be reasonably inferred is that the sexual encounter started to go wrong at this point, that is, probably before a majority of the gatecrashers had sex with “Clare”.
The above reconstruction comes mainly from Matthew Johns’ account. The bathroom window detail appears to have come not from Johns but from the police account of the incident, with at least one player seemingly boasting to police about this (his) “commando” stealth in entering the room. Also, while describing the exchange in which the victim rejected Branighan, note that Johns was careful not to publicly name his teammate, which makes him a gentleman IMO, at least in this regard.
“Clare” has explicitly contradicted one aspect of Johns’ account, saying that Johns not only remained present throughout the incident, but was the ringleader:
“He laughed and he joked and he very loud and boisterous and thought it was hilarious and you know kept it going”.
“Clare’s” account of her two-hour long sexual encounter (not including the very end, which I will discuss separately) with the group of 10 to 12 men, as broadcast on “Four Corners” is as follows:
“SARAH FERGUSON: In 2002, 19-year-old Clare, as we'll call her, was working part time as a waitress at the Racecourse Hotel on the outskirts of Christchurch. After finishing work Clare went with two of the players back to their room, one of them started kissing her.
CLARE: I didn't want to you know, make a big deal out of a kiss and even though it was rough and disgusting and I was a piece of meat even at that stage, but it was you know it was you know, it was nothing it was just a kiss.
SARAH FERGUSON: Over the next two hours, at least 12 players and staff came in to the room, six of them had sex with Clare, the others watched. Five days after the event Clare made a complaint to police.
…
CLARE: They were massive, like ah big Rugby players, I felt that I just had no idea what to do. There was always hands on me and there was always um, if one person had stopped, someone was touching me and doing something else. There was never a point where I was not being handled. Every time I looked up, there would be more and more people in the room and um there's lot, lots of guys in the room watching, ah maybe two or three that were on the bed that were doing stuff to me.
SARAH FERGUSON: Can you try and tell me what some of those things were?
CLARE: They flipped me over quite a bit and got out their penises and would put like, put them on my face and stuff and like maybe two guys would rub them on my face and things like that and yeah.
SARAH FERGUSON: What were the others doing while that was happening?
CLARE: They were I don't like know how to say it, um but masturbating yeah themselves while watching.
…
CLARE: I only remember this whole time, I only remember one player definitely, it was Mattie Johns.
…
CLARE: They never spoke to me, they spoke just to themselves, amongst themselves, laughing and thinking it was really funny. When you have sex with someone and it's nice and you talk and you touch and this was awful. This was nothing like, nothing like that.
SARAH FERGUSON: Some players even came into the room through the bathroom window.
CLARE: I had my eyes shut a lot of it and when I opened my eyes there was just a long line at the end of the bed.
SARAH FERGUSON: What was going through your mind when this was happening?
CLARE: I thought that I was, that I was nothing. I thought I was worthless and I thought I was nothing. And I think I was I was in shock. I didn't scream and they used a lot of like mental power over me and, and belittled me and made me feel really small like I was just a little old woman”.
In my opinion, the above description is of a quite unambiguous, brutal sexual assault. While “Four Corners” made a pointed disclaimer here (“Four Corners doesn't say that what took place in room 21 of the Racecourse hotel was sexual assault”), there are no outward indicators of “Clare’s” consent, and ample non-verbal signals that she was not freely consenting: “Every time I looked up, there would be more and more people in the room . . . They flipped me over quite a bit . . . I had my eyes shut a lot of it and when I opened my eyes there was just a long line at the end of the bed”.
Nothing Matthew Johns has said is inconsistent with “Clare’s” account, obviously bar (i) whether his presence there continued, and (ii) the Luke Branighan exchange. There is no point in speculating further on the former, but I will note that the Luke Branighan exchange, if it occurred, was a conspicuous, calculated cruelty by "Clare". I cannot imagine this exchange occurring at any time covered by “Clare’s” above account of her extreme passivity throughout. It apparently later became the subject of teammates’ jokes, which perhaps provides some corroboration that it occurred. Certainly, like the husband in the Borat-goes-to-USA movie’s “Not so much YOUR wife” joke, Branighan would have been KO’d at the time – there can be no socially acceptable response to the random, and so paradoxically personal, slur implicit in both “jokes”. Again, the media has not dwelt on any of this.
The most conspicuous media omission regarding the whole incident concerns the gatecrashers. Call me “Miss Marple”, but the fact that some or all of these entered through the bathroom window suggests that the hotel room’s door/s was locked. This is a very important detail in assessing consent to group-sex encounters – a door ajar may suggest an invitation (most likely revokeable and/or provisional) to others, while a door both closed and locked presumptively indicates the opposite. In other words, the gatecrashers must have realised that they required all three existing participants’ clear consent, if they wanted to join the then-threesome. There is scant indication, in any account bar the Branighan exchange, that such express consent was given by “Clare” to the group, wholly (bar Branighan) or individually. Plainly Johns, under his account, refused consent. Why the media spotlight is not instead currently glaring at (including by naming) the gatecrashers, given some plausible indicia that they (not including Johns or Branighan) raped “Clare”, escapes me.
Finally, two aspects of the “Four Corners” story made me wince, as a man – one for a lack of male-gender insight, and the other for excessive, to the point of unethical and/or dangerous female bonding between journalist/producer and subject.
“CLARE: I think maybe one of the guys said she's had enough, or something along those lines, like alright guys let's wrap it up she's had enough. And so I put my clothes on and walked out as, yeah.
SARAH FERGUSON: Did anybody talk to you while you were putting your clothes back on?
CLARE: No no one. I was nothing.”
In my personal experience, many gay men don’t like to talk before, during or after sex. I think this might well be just a guy, straight or gay, thing. To insinuate that a man’s failure to make small-talk at the messy end of sex either poisons a consensual encounter, or else makes a rape still worse is a gender-blind delusion. Worse, it unintentionally subscribes directly to what David Penberthy calls the “modern-day June Dally-Watkins” school of misogynist, or getting-away-with-rape, etiquette, aka “be polite afterwards and pay her cab fare home”.
Last night’s “Lateline” stated that “Clare” has gone into hiding. I am not surprised, given the unnecessary level of detail on her mental health that “Four Corners” chose to broadcast. Of course rape is a traumatic experience, and at least attempting suicide is probably a common-enough experience in the aftermath. But near-suicidal distress, however real, is rarely postively cathartic for the sufferer, especially when expressed in full public view. Whatever actually happened in 2002, “Four Corners” has managed to wring far too much emotion, and far too little truth (or reasoned speculation), out of it. So ladies, in case it needs to be said, I’m off - and sorry to have to end on a sour note.
* “SARAH FERGUSON: Afterwards in the car park, Matthew Johns told Four Corners, he went up to Clare and said he was sorry about the other guys coming into the room”.
One participant (male) in a 2002 group sexual encounter gone wrong apologises to the victim (female) at the earliest opportunity* – pointedly, this apology is not for his own conduct, nor even for anything he witnessed personally. In 2009, he makes another apology on national TV. Nonetheless, this man is widely portrayed in the media as the chief villain, and his apologies, particularly the first, receive scant media attention. Somehow, the man has come to stand for the group, despite obvious (to me) differences in involvement, and so perhaps culpability, between the man and the bulk of the group. So to the facts.
There seem to have been two triggers for then-professional rugby player Matthew Johns leaving the hotel room at a certain point – that 8 to 10 of his teammates and other club employees gatecrashed (some or all through a bathroom window) the threesome (2M, 1F) Johns was having, and this exchange between the victim and one of the gatecrashers:
"[Luke Branighan] said he would [like to have sex with the victim, “Clare”] and she said “no, no, anyone but you” . . . She then pointed at [Matthew Johns, indicating that she wanted to have sex with him instead]".
Whether Johns left the room at least partially out of consideration for the feelings of Branighan is unknown. What Branighan did after this is also unknown, but “Clare” has not indicated that he then had sex with her, contrary to her express wishes. What can be reasonably inferred is that the sexual encounter started to go wrong at this point, that is, probably before a majority of the gatecrashers had sex with “Clare”.
The above reconstruction comes mainly from Matthew Johns’ account. The bathroom window detail appears to have come not from Johns but from the police account of the incident, with at least one player seemingly boasting to police about this (his) “commando” stealth in entering the room. Also, while describing the exchange in which the victim rejected Branighan, note that Johns was careful not to publicly name his teammate, which makes him a gentleman IMO, at least in this regard.
“Clare” has explicitly contradicted one aspect of Johns’ account, saying that Johns not only remained present throughout the incident, but was the ringleader:
“He laughed and he joked and he very loud and boisterous and thought it was hilarious and you know kept it going”.
“Clare’s” account of her two-hour long sexual encounter (not including the very end, which I will discuss separately) with the group of 10 to 12 men, as broadcast on “Four Corners” is as follows:
“SARAH FERGUSON: In 2002, 19-year-old Clare, as we'll call her, was working part time as a waitress at the Racecourse Hotel on the outskirts of Christchurch. After finishing work Clare went with two of the players back to their room, one of them started kissing her.
CLARE: I didn't want to you know, make a big deal out of a kiss and even though it was rough and disgusting and I was a piece of meat even at that stage, but it was you know it was you know, it was nothing it was just a kiss.
SARAH FERGUSON: Over the next two hours, at least 12 players and staff came in to the room, six of them had sex with Clare, the others watched. Five days after the event Clare made a complaint to police.
…
CLARE: They were massive, like ah big Rugby players, I felt that I just had no idea what to do. There was always hands on me and there was always um, if one person had stopped, someone was touching me and doing something else. There was never a point where I was not being handled. Every time I looked up, there would be more and more people in the room and um there's lot, lots of guys in the room watching, ah maybe two or three that were on the bed that were doing stuff to me.
SARAH FERGUSON: Can you try and tell me what some of those things were?
CLARE: They flipped me over quite a bit and got out their penises and would put like, put them on my face and stuff and like maybe two guys would rub them on my face and things like that and yeah.
SARAH FERGUSON: What were the others doing while that was happening?
CLARE: They were I don't like know how to say it, um but masturbating yeah themselves while watching.
…
CLARE: I only remember this whole time, I only remember one player definitely, it was Mattie Johns.
…
CLARE: They never spoke to me, they spoke just to themselves, amongst themselves, laughing and thinking it was really funny. When you have sex with someone and it's nice and you talk and you touch and this was awful. This was nothing like, nothing like that.
SARAH FERGUSON: Some players even came into the room through the bathroom window.
CLARE: I had my eyes shut a lot of it and when I opened my eyes there was just a long line at the end of the bed.
SARAH FERGUSON: What was going through your mind when this was happening?
CLARE: I thought that I was, that I was nothing. I thought I was worthless and I thought I was nothing. And I think I was I was in shock. I didn't scream and they used a lot of like mental power over me and, and belittled me and made me feel really small like I was just a little old woman”.
In my opinion, the above description is of a quite unambiguous, brutal sexual assault. While “Four Corners” made a pointed disclaimer here (“Four Corners doesn't say that what took place in room 21 of the Racecourse hotel was sexual assault”), there are no outward indicators of “Clare’s” consent, and ample non-verbal signals that she was not freely consenting: “Every time I looked up, there would be more and more people in the room . . . They flipped me over quite a bit . . . I had my eyes shut a lot of it and when I opened my eyes there was just a long line at the end of the bed”.
Nothing Matthew Johns has said is inconsistent with “Clare’s” account, obviously bar (i) whether his presence there continued, and (ii) the Luke Branighan exchange. There is no point in speculating further on the former, but I will note that the Luke Branighan exchange, if it occurred, was a conspicuous, calculated cruelty by "Clare". I cannot imagine this exchange occurring at any time covered by “Clare’s” above account of her extreme passivity throughout. It apparently later became the subject of teammates’ jokes, which perhaps provides some corroboration that it occurred. Certainly, like the husband in the Borat-goes-to-USA movie’s “Not so much YOUR wife” joke, Branighan would have been KO’d at the time – there can be no socially acceptable response to the random, and so paradoxically personal, slur implicit in both “jokes”. Again, the media has not dwelt on any of this.
The most conspicuous media omission regarding the whole incident concerns the gatecrashers. Call me “Miss Marple”, but the fact that some or all of these entered through the bathroom window suggests that the hotel room’s door/s was locked. This is a very important detail in assessing consent to group-sex encounters – a door ajar may suggest an invitation (most likely revokeable and/or provisional) to others, while a door both closed and locked presumptively indicates the opposite. In other words, the gatecrashers must have realised that they required all three existing participants’ clear consent, if they wanted to join the then-threesome. There is scant indication, in any account bar the Branighan exchange, that such express consent was given by “Clare” to the group, wholly (bar Branighan) or individually. Plainly Johns, under his account, refused consent. Why the media spotlight is not instead currently glaring at (including by naming) the gatecrashers, given some plausible indicia that they (not including Johns or Branighan) raped “Clare”, escapes me.
Finally, two aspects of the “Four Corners” story made me wince, as a man – one for a lack of male-gender insight, and the other for excessive, to the point of unethical and/or dangerous female bonding between journalist/producer and subject.
“CLARE: I think maybe one of the guys said she's had enough, or something along those lines, like alright guys let's wrap it up she's had enough. And so I put my clothes on and walked out as, yeah.
SARAH FERGUSON: Did anybody talk to you while you were putting your clothes back on?
CLARE: No no one. I was nothing.”
In my personal experience, many gay men don’t like to talk before, during or after sex. I think this might well be just a guy, straight or gay, thing. To insinuate that a man’s failure to make small-talk at the messy end of sex either poisons a consensual encounter, or else makes a rape still worse is a gender-blind delusion. Worse, it unintentionally subscribes directly to what David Penberthy calls the “modern-day June Dally-Watkins” school of misogynist, or getting-away-with-rape, etiquette, aka “be polite afterwards and pay her cab fare home”.
Last night’s “Lateline” stated that “Clare” has gone into hiding. I am not surprised, given the unnecessary level of detail on her mental health that “Four Corners” chose to broadcast. Of course rape is a traumatic experience, and at least attempting suicide is probably a common-enough experience in the aftermath. But near-suicidal distress, however real, is rarely postively cathartic for the sufferer, especially when expressed in full public view. Whatever actually happened in 2002, “Four Corners” has managed to wring far too much emotion, and far too little truth (or reasoned speculation), out of it. So ladies, in case it needs to be said, I’m off - and sorry to have to end on a sour note.
* “SARAH FERGUSON: Afterwards in the car park, Matthew Johns told Four Corners, he went up to Clare and said he was sorry about the other guys coming into the room”.
