Monday, July 26, 2004

Terrorists threaten Australian tomato sauce-shed

If retrospective justification is needed for Australia’s role in the Iraq invasion/occupation, then the naïve intransigence of terrorist threats mentioning Australia by name should be plenty.

Last year, al Qaida – possibly, even Bin Laden personally – was letting loose with this:

We maintain our right to reply, at the appropriate time and place, to all the states that are taking part in this unjust war, particularly Britain, Spain, Australia, Poland, Japan, and Italy.
Oh, do you just?   Maybe you could brush up on your geography – not only have you done nothing to/in any of the named countries (Spain excepted), but the latest bunch of Iraq hostages come from three countries at the opposite end of the spectrum from Osama’s ersatz short-list:  Pakistan, India and Egypt.  

And what is with Australia and Poland?  Again, Australia has been specifically mentioned alongside this unassailably B-list nation, only this time there’s not even the cushioning impact of a few Proper Countries also being named.  When it’s a short list of Australia, Poland and Bulgaria – only – it’s not so much an ooh-ah threat as a slap-of-the-glove insult to national pride and manhood.

As for the latest threat’s supposed modus operandi – "lines of car bombs" and "pools of blood" – the piss-weakery of terrorist intentions against Australia is reinforced.  Lines of car bombs – so that’d be to dilute the whole exercise into a sort of Mardi Gras parade meets cracker-night?  Ditto for the dinky little "pools of blood" – perhaps you meant "rivers", dears.   Or are you too steeped in the production values of an Agatha Christie murder mystery amateur repertory to risk your props getting more accolades than your acting?

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