Wednesday, November 05, 2003


Tenants 1, Landlords 0

Today’s interest rate rise is a small step in the right direction. The sad truth, for all those aspirational baby boomers who have recently bought a first (or a second or third) investment property is that they’re dead right – having some spare property is going to be the only thing that may allow them a semi-comfortable retirement.

By so many Gen X’rs being kept on a McJob (at best) short leash into middle-age, and so not having ever entered the property market themselves, the last thing ageing Gen X’rs are going to want to do is to empty the commodes of whining, bedsore-infested boomers. Wages will go up, naturally, but it will be too little, too late. Boomers will be dying en masse in unstaffed nursing homes, desperately drawing their own kero baths, only to then drown in them. Adios, “me generation”!

The only bargaining chip (some) boomers will have is the “roof over the head” factor. If they own surplus property, they should be able to barter accommodation for personal care labour. But there will be mysterious deaths and dodgy last-minute will-changes aplenty – so don’t any of you boomers get too cocky about this scenario. It won’t be Anna Nicole Smith-types giving you a bit of pleasure in your last years, but callous, greedy Gen X’rs double-crossing you when you’re at your most vulnerable. All arts which they learned from you, of course, but had to wait so long before they could actually practise any of them.

So bend over for your second-home suppositories, boomers. They’re big and they’re square, but they’re going to have to last you a long, long time.

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