Tuesday, November 25, 2003
*^%# Stupid job ads!
After seeing one of those – very rare – job ads that just leaps off the page at you, that just already has YOU written all over it, you know what I hate? When you look it up, and it turns out to be not only not “You”, but an awesomely-sized, deliberately “anti-You” going Hah-Hah in your face; I hate that.
The job?
Project Worker (Educator/Writer) with Victoria Legal Aid – part-time and for 10 months only. [That’s all the ad said, apart from the salary]
Sounds perfect – I’ve got legal qualifications, law teaching experince, and writing qualifications and experience. And the part-time and limited term of the job would hopefully discourage all the Saffie-esque, keen-as-mustard Gen Y sycophants from bothering to apply.
But upon seeking further info at the Victoria Legal Aid website, my dream job turns out to be something else – a lot of stuff about facilitating focus testing, draft methodology etc. A pain, in other words, and not something I am particularly expert at, but not an insuperable obstacle. I mean, I’ve still got the background, haven’t I?
Delving one webpage deeper, into the Position Description (PDF), the answer turns out to be “no”. How stupid was I, thinking that a Project Worker/Educator with Victoria Legal Aid would need to know anything about the law?
Instead, we get this:
PURPOSE OF POSITION:
To research and design a teachers’ kit to engage young people in issues based discussion and activities about the law. Project objectives are:
• To ensure young people direct topic and content priorities.
Well the project worker knows fuck-all about the topic, so I guess this one’s a given. And everyone knows how good schoolkids are at “directing” curricula – Hell, every state got rid of its eduction department, and replaced it with regular focus group testing down at the local skate park, years ago.
• To ensure the content is relevant to diverse audiences including disabled, culturally and linguistically diverse and same-sex attracted young people.
If they’re w-a-a-y “linguistically diverse”, then think about getting some translation in. Otherwise, include a chapter on discrimination law. Like, derr.
• To ensure content ties into existing mainstream secondary school curriculum.
Ignore all other points – this job is for an existing, uber-jaded teacher, who wants a year’s bludge-cum-revenge-on-students. Make sure every focus group you do is a three-hour (minimum) marathon, and always during school hours. The kids will be begging you to get it over with, but you won’t let them go until you’ve used up every last bit of your butcher’s paper – at their “direction”.
• To ensure the kit reflects best practice design standards i.e., durable, practical, contemporary and accessible in a variety of mediums i.e., hard copy, CD-ROM, disc, web.
Again, derr.
• To develop and implement a marketing strategy to promote the kit to schools and relevant community workers.
Hah! Your contract will be conveniently over just as the crunch comes – how the fuck is VLA going to get rid of that mountain of brochures/CD-ROMS festering in the tea-room (like the pile of jumbo tins of International Roast, another “seemed like a good idea at the time” order)
• To begin to address the need identified by community legal educators for coordinated and improved resources for trainers
We love a mission that ends with the words “to begin to”. Especially when it relates to teacher training resources – you know, those things that teachers in Wodonga seem to confuse with classroom handouts. For “coordinated and improved”, read “ties into existing mainstream secondary school curriculum” (above). Translation: looks like a classroom handout – only pervy.
After seeing one of those – very rare – job ads that just leaps off the page at you, that just already has YOU written all over it, you know what I hate? When you look it up, and it turns out to be not only not “You”, but an awesomely-sized, deliberately “anti-You” going Hah-Hah in your face; I hate that.
The job?
Project Worker (Educator/Writer) with Victoria Legal Aid – part-time and for 10 months only. [That’s all the ad said, apart from the salary]
Sounds perfect – I’ve got legal qualifications, law teaching experince, and writing qualifications and experience. And the part-time and limited term of the job would hopefully discourage all the Saffie-esque, keen-as-mustard Gen Y sycophants from bothering to apply.
But upon seeking further info at the Victoria Legal Aid website, my dream job turns out to be something else – a lot of stuff about facilitating focus testing, draft methodology etc. A pain, in other words, and not something I am particularly expert at, but not an insuperable obstacle. I mean, I’ve still got the background, haven’t I?
Delving one webpage deeper, into the Position Description (PDF), the answer turns out to be “no”. How stupid was I, thinking that a Project Worker/Educator with Victoria Legal Aid would need to know anything about the law?
Instead, we get this:
PURPOSE OF POSITION:
To research and design a teachers’ kit to engage young people in issues based discussion and activities about the law. Project objectives are:
• To ensure young people direct topic and content priorities.
Well the project worker knows fuck-all about the topic, so I guess this one’s a given. And everyone knows how good schoolkids are at “directing” curricula – Hell, every state got rid of its eduction department, and replaced it with regular focus group testing down at the local skate park, years ago.
• To ensure the content is relevant to diverse audiences including disabled, culturally and linguistically diverse and same-sex attracted young people.
If they’re w-a-a-y “linguistically diverse”, then think about getting some translation in. Otherwise, include a chapter on discrimination law. Like, derr.
• To ensure content ties into existing mainstream secondary school curriculum.
Ignore all other points – this job is for an existing, uber-jaded teacher, who wants a year’s bludge-cum-revenge-on-students. Make sure every focus group you do is a three-hour (minimum) marathon, and always during school hours. The kids will be begging you to get it over with, but you won’t let them go until you’ve used up every last bit of your butcher’s paper – at their “direction”.
• To ensure the kit reflects best practice design standards i.e., durable, practical, contemporary and accessible in a variety of mediums i.e., hard copy, CD-ROM, disc, web.
Again, derr.
• To develop and implement a marketing strategy to promote the kit to schools and relevant community workers.
Hah! Your contract will be conveniently over just as the crunch comes – how the fuck is VLA going to get rid of that mountain of brochures/CD-ROMS festering in the tea-room (like the pile of jumbo tins of International Roast, another “seemed like a good idea at the time” order)
• To begin to address the need identified by community legal educators for coordinated and improved resources for trainers
We love a mission that ends with the words “to begin to”. Especially when it relates to teacher training resources – you know, those things that teachers in Wodonga seem to confuse with classroom handouts. For “coordinated and improved”, read “ties into existing mainstream secondary school curriculum” (above). Translation: looks like a classroom handout – only pervy.
