Thursday, April 03, 2003

PRESS RELEASE: Books Not Bombs Coalition

Recognising the threat suicide bombers posed worldwide, Ms Kylie Moonrock, of the “Books Not Bombs” anti-war coalition, has announced a shift in direction for the group, including a slight name change.

“By re-branding ourselves as ‘Suicide Books Not Suicide Bombers’, we are focusing on doing something very practical – sending educational and self-help texts into war-torn Iraq”, Ms Moonrock said yesterday.

Titles of books that the coalition have bulk-purchased for urgent shipment to Iraq include: Who moved my Jihad? and The Seven Habits of Highly Premature Anthrax-julators.

Ms Moonrock continued: “Although we admit there is an element of saving our own middle-class western skins in this move, we don’t see that as our primary motivation. By sending instructional and motivational texts on how to commit suicide – and to preferably do it soon – we see it as a way of bringing the troops home, sooner rather than later. Their troops get to go to a virgin-filled paradise without the tiresome task of flying a hijacked 747 through my Newtown kitchen, and Australian troops, meanwhile, are going to have to go home without any reading material from us at all, coz they’re all fascist corporate scum who can’t be helped further, anyway.”

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